I was replying to someone’s comment on Facebook where they stated that ‘the closest I get to happiness is acceptance and then that makes me sad’. I responded ‘I’d like to understand why do you, or why do you feel you should accept, if it makes you sad?’.
The response I got back was ‘Accept there’s Racism, and leave me alone’.
At some point people have gotten the idea that to gain unconditional happiness, that we then need to have unconditional acceptance. If you type acceptance into Google, you’ll get swamped with Buddhism, or articles on how ‘True acceptance’ brings ‘REAL happiness’. I’m going to vomit in the corner right now. Now there’s two pieces to this.
The first is, why should anyone accept Racism, Genocide, Rape, Specism? The idea that you should accept it make me ridiculously angry. And this comes to the second part. I am angry. People think if you unconditionally accept, you avoid the anger. And a lack of anger, or the feelings of conflict brings happiness and peace.
Let me give you a direct example of this, if someone physically hits you right now. Imagine for a second how you might react. Would you fight? Or run away? This is a 100% natural human response, fight or flight. Could you understand why someone would fight, because they are angry? How dare someone hit me? So why are we telling ourselves we shouldn’t have a natural human response? If you want to constantly try to fight your human nature you will need to be in a constant fight with your body’s responses.
So no, I don’t accept Racism. And I never will. I don’t need to, because that is the fight. You are fighting your natural response, accept that you are angry. There is nothing wrong with that. And that there is liberation. I have the right to be angry.
Now the problem is feeling angry, it’s not peaceful right? It can feel unpleasant? Well it feels unpleasant if you tell yourself it is unpleasant. And that is the real issue. Have you ever felt righteously angry? Say someone said something unkind and wrong about you. If they then apologise, do you enjoy that righteous anger in that moment? Anger is not bad, anger is not wrong. If we live in a world that actively wants to accept everything, then we will continue to see the Racism, sexism etc that exists, as something that has to be accepted. Well I don’t know anyone that wants to live in that world. So we should challenge, it is fine to be angry. What brings the real liberation is, is to have acceptance of your anger. To stop creating conflict within yourself by telling yourself you shouldn’t be angry. So free yourself, stop fighting your right to simply be.
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